i needed something to help my heart...

this is excellent.


more animals

it's that time again...

so i really haven't said anything political in a while. well, not here. elsewhere i can imagine people are angry with me but i don't actually give a fuck. vote for who you want to vote for. see if i care. vote for the ass clown and his dumb fuck sidekick. vote for the independent. write your own fucking name in. hell, write mine in. i don't care. but here's the thing. i didn't come crying to you when my guys lost the last two elections. so save your bitch-lipping for your pappy when your guy loses*. i don't want to hear it. because it won't make a difference. someone today told me to "get over it" about something that was actually a joke and had nothing to do with the election. want to piss me off? tell me to "get over it". about anything. then go fuck yourself with a crowbar because you are now useless to me. debate with me. fight with me. but tell me to get over my feelings about something i believe in? in the sage voice of reason that is edgrimly - eat a dick clown. then take your trailer and move the fuck on.

so here goes. some tidbits for the season....

ass sphincter says what?

i'm sorry - i'm worth how much again?

papa don't preach - i'm keeping the baby.

alma! turn up your hearing aid. the question has been answered.

what? - gays are getting married?! what do we protect next? the sanctity of divorce?

well, if my plumber says it's so...

mommy, why is there nothing about the economy or debt on here? because sweetie, mommy can't grasp the idea of ten trillion dollars.

and why nothing about iraq? because, my love, mommy can't wrap her head around six hundred million either...

so there you have it. feel free to question or debate any one of the issues. but know this. it won't change my mind. it won't make a difference. if i don't know who i'm voting for by now, i should write down my dad's name. the fuckers been dead for 24 years or i haven't been paying enough attention.

*i sure hope my guy wins.

i'm calling bullshit... on myself...

so each year (and this has just been a recent thing), i've decided to dvr and watch horror movies. these used to freak the shit out of me. still do. but i like to do things that scare me (otherwise, how do you get rid of the fear - right?) so that's why i do it. but i'm starting to think i'm an idiot. i am now trying to sit through saw iii for the second time today. this shouldn't be fucking hard. it's daylight for fuck's sake. and it's not so much horror as just plain grotesque. i thought i had watched this before. but i know i haven't because otherwise i would have known that ass was going to rip those rings out of his hands (and wherever else since i turned away at this point). if he pulled it from his lip, i'm glad i missed that shit. mind you - this is about 3 minutes into the movie. man, i'm cool.

i've listed my scariest halloween movies in the past and i don't think they've changed much. so why, again, am i dvr-ing this and this? and do i need to watch the Halloween's in sequential order or doesn't it matter since the bitch in the shatner mask never dies? why isn't AMC showing them in order? why 1 then 4 then 5 then 27... well, you get the picture. if you have the rights to show them all - do it in order asshats. it's the polite thing to do.

jebus help me. i want to watch them. i really do... but maybe i should just take my bitch ass to the Family channel and watch Scooby Doo and Zombie Island. because that may be all i can handle.

one more question, who the fuck is this girl helping jigsaw or whoever/whatever he is? does she hope he gets better so she can bang the fucker? that's icky.

maybe if i just watch more of these, i'll get the same effect without being such a girl...

sure. why not...

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

house, i have a question...

what the hell happened to the rest of this shot? here's what was supposed to be shown, but we somehow missed half of it...

in what year do you think this will become a non-issue? where we can see as much female-female smut as we currently do male-female? i hope it's before i die, but some days i wonder...

i couldn't love amy poehler more if she were in my bed...well maybe...

maybe if she came with tina fey... (that's a double entendre if i ever saw one...)

while i am a big fan of the hooded sweatshirt...

i believe these are very suited for edgrimly...

huh...

i had high hopes for a train wreck...but to no avail...

will the vp nominees become a non-issue?

hmmm... i'm a little disappointed.

Heart doesn't <3 McCain...

But now I less-than three Heart... or whoever did this.