tv made me look it up...

but my unnatural love of otters made giggle like a school girl when he came back around again towards the end of the video...

not to be outdone by...

edgrimly - here is some python for you. but cooler. and i saw all these people in this show. and went to the art museum first. and ruth's chris after. because im cool like that. don't be jealous. we can't all be rock stars.

how could i...

possibly forget about one of the best christmas movies out there?!?! jesus- it's unforgivable. i must watch it now. over and over again. well, at least between loads of christmas laundry.





Merry Christmas!

big fat loser...

holy shit! these people lost me. many of me. if they can - why can't i?

all with the help of her...

mark my word... words. it will happen.

here's the problem with suites...

so at work today, i knew i was going to the admirals game. but at about 4:20pm (the game started at 7pm) i was asked if i knew of some 'fun' wmra people to fill 2 seats. hard question - since im at the front desk with no idea what phone numbers are and no idea who is still around... so i find a list - boring, boring, fun - let's call her (can't go), boring, fun - let's call him (gone, cell phone sucks), boring, fun - has to take dog to vet, and on and on... i end up finding one extra person to fill the seat and she's always a good time.

but the issue really lies in the fact that when you're in a suite, you never watch the game. at least i never do. i sat down in front to watch 2 minutes of the second period and that was it. the rest was spent chatting with people - and really you feel a little obligated. i dunno - maybe im crazy. i had fun. someday i just want to watch the game...

i think the admirals won. if you want to be sure, i bet you can ask the 75 other people at the game...

this is the book i am?...

Cat's Cradle

Give it a shot.

Then i was this.

and then this.

and then ...

and then i gave up.

wait - i was this too.

happy christmas bitches...and something for the jewish folk too...

this will be stuck in your head for days...

The L Word is not all about sex...

There's politics...



And poker... what the fuck? i was looking up The L Word and all things The L Word on youtube and this came up. If you can tell me why, you win the prize...

why is it...

that the mornings find me making lists and plans and such for when i'm going to start my diet & exercise plan?
Step 1: cardio 4-6 times per week
Step 2: strength training 3-5 times per week
Step 3: eat healthier - fruits & veggies 5 times per day / 8+ glasses of water per day

and on and on...

So i obviously know what i'm supposed to do - why again am i not doing it? and why in the world is it what i think about every morning when i'm committed to sleeping in late? grrr...

rest assured - i get over the whole idea by noon...

chuck...

so i watch chuck. and i'm not ashamed to say it. hell - i actually really enjoy it. cute girls. geeky boys. lots of electronics. what's not to love really? but this right here shocked me. yvonne strahovski is polish, from australia, and she speaks with a very good american accent. i absolutely had no idea she had an accent. but i have to say - i like it. i like it a lot. and she can even pull off the scottish accent. shut the hell up. maybe she can try a midwest one next...

just one more...

less than a month away...

not here or today...

but it might as well be...



there was some crazy driving out there today. and some crazy ass people since i was driving through the snowy, icy street and someone decided it would be fine to stand about 3 feet from her car - in the road - instead of moving to the sidewalk. i should have hit her on principle alone.

what in the world...

is this?



someone must not have gotten what they wanted from Santa...

so here it is...

the top how-ever-many-i-feel-like Christmas movies out there. and they're probably in no particular order. because i like to mix it up.

1. It's a Wonderful Life (watch the link - angry bunnies are funny) - really, if a damn movie will make my hardened soul cry regardless of when in the year i watch it... it can't be bad.
2. The Muppets Christmas Carol - the Muppets rock. i don't care what you say.
3. The Year Without a Santa Claus - i suppose not technically a movie but those little egomaniacs Heat Miser and Snow Miser are funny.
4. Bad(der) Santa - drinking. lauren graham. enough said.
5. Miracle on 34th Street - when did i turn into such a sap? jesus.
6. Holiday Inn - this is so wrong it's funny. ("is yo' name miss mamie?") shut up. it's funny.
7. The Grinch - i prefer the cartoon and i generally dislike Jim Carey but this surprised me when i liked it. so it goes on the list. because i just might watch it tonight.
8. What's Cooking? - ok so it's a Thanksgiving movie really but it's my list isn't it? so i can put whatever i want on it right? right.

Obvious omissions include: A Charlie Brown Christmas - if i want to see depression during the holidays, i'll look in the mirror. A Christmas Story - who needs to watch this shite 24 hours in a row? oh that's right - my brother. lame. the chinese restaurant was funny though. i'll give them that. but just that. and i'll give it to you too.

(i reserve the right to add to this whenever i feel like. just so you know.)

I love rizzo as a bellows...

but that may have been an earlier part of the movie...

nevermind - youtube screwed it all up. i can't show anymore. but here's this.

Another day, another ...

part of the best christmas movie out there.

Who Wants to...

Watch The Muppets Christmas Carol over the span of 9 days or so? Ooohh! I do! I do! Pick Me! Ok, simma down now, I'll show it to you. Sit back and relax. Here's how it starts...

reese beats june...

there. i've said it. that and she's really cute too...



yep - this is how i spent my time that i wasn't painting... Walk the Line. Coal Miner's Daughter. all sorts of fun...

and now - because we all know how my head works - i am going to watch another Reese Witherspoon movie... (there always has to be a connection)

you know what's cool about work...

nothing.

i'm what?...

so Brenda sent me an email. one of those that tells you who you are because you're born under a certain zodiac sign. (it can also be useful in telling you if you are still at potential risk if another zodiac killer shows up...) so here's mine. debunked.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer ( Sept 23 - Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. - this may or may not be true. i suppose if you're nice to me i'll be forced to be nice to you. once.
Can't make up their mind. - fine. i'll give you one. this is true. wait - no it's not.
Have own unique appeal. - i dunno. i suppose i'm unique. but so is everyone else.
Creative, energetic, and very social. - depends on the day.
Hates to be alone. - completely wrong. people drive me nuts. i like being alone.
Peaceful, generous. - i am a lover, not a fighter - so that's true. and if i can, i'll give you stuff. sometimes i try to give stuff away that nobody wants... including me. but it's still generous - dang it.
Very loving and beautiful. - huh? i can't answer this shit.
Flirtatious. - are there drinks involved? then this is pretty accurate.
Give in too easily. - if you say so.
Procrastinators. - i'll get back to you on this one.
Very gullible. - would that mean i'd have to believe this stuff?
9 years of bad luck if you do not forward. - bad luck follows me. get in line buddy.

I'm not buying it. Does that mean I'm not that gullible? lame.

back by popular demand...

or because they just won Vocal Duo of the Year at the CMA's. Sugarland! (If i could i would put tonight's performance on here but those crazy youtuber's apparently aren't fast enough...) Philistines.



"If we're standing up here and we have this lofty view ... it's because we're standing on the shoulders of giants, those people, those people who have come before us. ... Brooks & Dunn, they always rock it out, and they are so deserving. We are happy to be receiving this." -- Jennifer Nettles

i know halloween's over...

but i would so see this movie...

absurdity abounds...

this is so insane, i have to post it. apparently, the war in iraq started because of our tolerance for 'fags'.
so let's do the math...
1. There is a 'don't ask-don't tell' policy in place in the armed forces which doesn't exactly promote homosexuality.
2. The people in the armed forces are the ones who will be fighting and dying in the war.
3. Unless a gay person is in the closet, they won't fight - nor will they die in the war.

Maybe god didn't think this one through. It looks more like soldiers are dying for their intolerence. or the wrong people are getting punished for this issue. or it's completely insane and these people are idiots and have no idea what they're saying. they've got to know they're going to hell too. i mean the daughter has 11 children - am i to assume that she's only had sex 11 times because really it is only used for procreation? on second thought, i've seen a picture of her. it's plausible.

here is a funny video for everyone. i laughed. especially at the third "so-called". sounded like someone from python. maybe this is all just a big joke. i doubt it...

Hey - we're not alone! Not only does God Hate America but God Hates Sweden too! Yay!

bullshit...

who's smarter? boys - my ass...

look for the ghost...

it's hard to find so look carefully. it shows up on the right side - by the fog.

i stand behind the title of this blog...

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..."

I'll explain more later.

August 2007 - over 4 million available jobs.

I bet a good 70% of the population couldn't pass this test. Or this - keeping in mind you won't have the answers in front of you.

Unemployment rates




"Them" are welcome. By everything we stand for or started out with - "them" are welcome.

And just wait until i can articulate my thoughts a little better...

it scared me...

so i started looking for the scariest movies because for some deranged reason i've decided i enjoy watching them and hiding under a blanket hoping my cat will save me from whatever is undoubtedly going to jump out at me... and there are some crazy people out there with crazy additions to their lists. for example, rocky horror picture show - not really scary. seven or silence of the lambs - scared the hell out of me but i'm not sure i'd call them horror. (you can if you want - i'm not going to)

so - here's mine. and it's a work in progress so keep that in mind...

1. The Exorcist - scared me to death (well not literally) when i was little. still freaks me out.
2. The Exorcism of Emily Rose - nobody should be able to manipulate their body like that. unless they're possessed of course.
3. The Omen - freaky. maybe this is why i don't like kids...
4. what's that movie where you watch the video and then a little while later you die? that one. the lady without the face hollowed out was icky.
5. Birds - why? because birds make me nervous. (i haven't actually watched it but still...birds? it gives me the chills) if i ever have a pet bird it's name will be Hitchcock.
6. Halloween - i have brothers. i could see the potential...



That's enough for now. I have more to watch so I'll add more as I freak myself out. And no there isn't anything wrong with watching horror movies at 9 in the morning. easier to see anything sneaking up on you....

just one more...

this is funny and dumb all at the same time...

wild fires...

The devastation is insane but the imagery is amazing.

who knew...

i shared a birthday.

welcome to disjointed blogging...

dumbledore doesn't really seem like a straight guys name anyway...

and nobody needs this. i don't care who you are....

puttin' on the ritzzz...

Bill Maher...

and the 9/11 Truth Movement.

Last night on Real Time with Bill Maher, a handful of 9/11 Truth Movement hecklers made it into the audience and caused a ruckus. ("Can you describe the ruckus?...") They are apparently upset because Bill said they needed medication or help or what not because they believe that the 9/11 destruction of the Twin Towers was planned by our government. And that means they're "nut cases". I could not -for the life of me - figure out what they were saying but they kept yelling and then Bill started yelling about why hasn't security gotten rid of them, etc. It was a nice mix-up to the same show. But here's the thing. One of the panelists said she wasn't even going to bring up freedom of speech and Bill said good. Which begs the question: is there freedom of speech in that format? Was the hecklers freedom somehow compromised by being kicked out? Do you get to go on someone's show and say whatever you want and nobody can do anything? Or was Bill justified in kicking them out because it is his show and he gets to say what happens and what gets said (well - for the most part)?

Here's what happened:



What's the right answer? Justified or no?

trash your dreams...

with a click of a button... have you ever wanted to move? are you currently living in the Milwaukee area? good luck finding a comparable place to exist...

New York? 136% higher cost of living
San Francisco? 124%
Chicago? 22%
Las Vegas? only 3%- but way too dangerous

i'm feeling a little claustrophobic...

iggy...

ok, let's look at the facts:
1. Ellen adopted a dog and couldn't keep it
2. she found someone who wanted it and could take care of it
3. mutts & moms found out and took the dog back

Those are the very basics.

The rest is here:
1. Normally people have to fill out forms (I've filled one out on the off chance i want to adopt from the Humane Society again) and have home visits. Ellen and Portia were not asked to do either of these.
2. The home she gave Iggy to has two children - 12 and 11 - not exactly babies who can't understand how to treat an animal. M&M doesn't want to give dogs to homes with kids under 14.
3. When M&M called her to ask about Iggy, she told them about it's new home. And they went and took the dog out of there. Ellen apparently didn't read the fine print. who does?

And here's the crap:
1. If Ellen didn't have to apply for the dog or have a home visit like everyone else, why would anyone assume she couldn't give Iggy away. Kind of set a precedent on how the rules would be followed.
2. These kids fell in love with Iggy - trust me it doesn't take long to fall in love - and gave the dog a home. Isn't that the goal of a shelter? Find the animals a loving family to live with.
3. Now that Ellen has pleaded on tv for the return of Iggy to the family, the owner of M&M has said she will never give that dog back to that family because she won't be bullied by the Ellen Degenereses of the world. Good thing she has the dog's best interest in mind...


4. Oh and yes - there are some crazy people out there - death threats are not cool.

Moral: give the damn dog back to the family / learn to follow the rules - all the rules, regardless of how much money you'll make / and everyone shut the hell up. (that was Gaia's contribution to the post - she's a little crazy about pet adoptions since she was in a cage until she picked me to take her home)

because it's been so long...

and i gambled over the weekend.

i "double-down'd" a couple times. big fun.

ortega law...

so apparently in Guatemala, they are trying to pass a law banning all adoptions. Which sucks for the 5000 families waiting to bring their children home. Unicef is even offering to give the president something like $28 million to pass it. it's bullshit. what happens to all the children that won't get adopted? oh - they'll figure it out. at least that's what they say. who the fuck is 'they' anyway? people have been waiting for a long time. they've been preparing their homes, their minds, their hearts. and they may not see their kids? what the fuck is that? and they are their kids. in their hearts. and that's what matters. children need someone who will love them. children need someone who will be there for them. they need someone who will go through this whole insane fucking process with all its problems just waiting for the time they will bring their babies home.

so this law is shit. and it makes me angry.

Survivor...

so i used to go to Papa's to watch Survivor and play Dickie's game every week but haven't done it for a year or so... until tonight.... cheap discount drinks - Survivor on the tv - and a game afterwards.

hmmm... i got a 'welcome back' drink after i asked about his new kid (they have since had 2 miscarriages-i knew i should have asked someone else first) and i won some stuff. a floaty Tanquarey key chain and porn. yes porn. amy didn't want it and put it back in the prize pool. i'm no fool. i'll take it. now - what to do with it...

The Brewers...

sad. sad. sad. They came out strong but seem to fail to finish it off... And on my birthday no less? Couldn't they give me something?! yep - it's about me. ah well... maybe next year.

I'm off to Boston...

I hope to see a bunch of stuff I've never seen before. But I'm really hoping I can check out Fenway and get me a BoSox hat - because I like the little red socks... And I'd love to check out Harvard too but time is limited... On the list - Freedom Trail and Quincy Market. We'll see what else happens. Oh and some Sam Adams. :)

This is the new goal...

This girl right here is bad ass. I want her to whip me into shape. Repeatedly.

Update: This isn't just to put a hot girl on the site - Jillian Michaels is a trainer who could beat the fat out of many people I know. I'm just volunteering is all...

Once again...

I must be an idiot. How can I not keep up with the sci fi / fantasy / geeky movies like the rest of the world? I generally enjoy the X-Men movies (I suppose I could have gotten into the comics since I lived with them for about 7 years - but nope...) but when the hell did Jean Grey die? I know I saw the other movies before but why can't I remember anything that happens in these dang shows? First, I don't remember Leia and Luke are related. Then, I don't remember Superman sleeping with Lois. And now, I have no recollection of Jean dying. And I watched her. Because she was cute. So why the selective insomnia? I blame the drugs I did in the 60s. Or the beer. Maybe Norm was wrong. I didn't kill the weaker brain cells...

Just because...

people are dumb. And I don't think the horse was out of line...

My Boys...

So I've found a show that I really enjoy... it has beer and sports and beer and poker and not too many girls doing silly girl things... and I like it. Why does that suck? Well, because it ends tonight of course. What is up with these stupid ass schedules? What is up with cheesy little 12 episode seasons? The L Word. Weeds. My Boys. Dirt. The list goes on... What happened to 22 - 24 episode seasons? We have to sit through all the bullshit commercials, at least give us more time. (Well - I tend to DVR everything so I can skip the ads but still.) It's lame. I don't want to wait another year to see 12 more episodes. Hell, I'm sure I'll have forgotten about the show by then... stupid. waste of time. dang it.

UPDATE: This show is dead to me. What the hell kind of ending is that? Now I have to wait how long? kiss my donkey My Boys. kiss my donkey.

Anyone out there miss Sugarland...

Well, here Jennifer is again. This is one of my favorite songs. I remember being able to cry at the drop of a hat. Or while singing about something painful...or was the singing the painful part?... hmmm... still she rocks. Again.

Superman Returns...

Ok, I'm an idiot. Or a genius. Am I really to believe that if I took off my glasses nobody would recognize me? Really? Cute Lois this time. If not just as dumb as usual... seriously, talking to Clark about Superman doesn't give you pause? Wait a minute - when did she sleep with Superman?... If only I were more of a geek...

I'm baaackkkk...

Ok - after a long, relaxing, and eventful vacation and horrible, heartbreaking week at home - I'm back. The vacation deserves its own blog. So does Squiggles. But in an attempt to continue to move on, I'll explain her now. Squiggles was my cat. She was a gift for my 19th birthday from Alex - who I lived with a long time ago. She was the best and the first pet that was actually mine. Squiggles was a velcro kitty who stuck to the screen door; she stayed with me for moves, and relationships; hell - she even did a hit of acid one time. (Vapor trails of your tail look pretty freakin' cool.) But, alas, she was 16. She was sick; she was tired; she was ready to go. So I let her. It sucks more donkey than anything I've ever known, but as I think back - I know it was the right thing to do. And Gaia is enjoying more love than she knows what to do with. (Not that kind of love - bestiality is not cool. sickos.) I'll miss her more than anything I've lost so far but I know she's happy now playing with Jazz and feeling no pain. Sleep well little kitty.

Coming soon...

an actual list of the best movies out there. I'm guessing it will look nothing like edgrimly's. Hell, I'm not even sure I've seen any on his list. My list will be good... Dang me for having to pack... and clean and fun stuff like that. Vacation is fun!

Lucille's...

fucking rocks. I don't care what you
say, I love this place. Granted - there are too many people getting married but outside of that, these people can play the fuckin' piano and they go on and on... I'm sure there were more people getting married after we left and we saw at least 7 women...
I need to hang out with Bonny more... :)

I'm not a drunk...

but apparently I play one at the ballpark. I was in line to get a dog and some fries and decided since I finished my beer while waiting in line for at least 15 minutes, I'd get another. The girl takes my order, asks for my id, looks at me, looks at my id, looks at me again, hands me back my id and says "i don't feel comfortable serving you a beer." I was floored. I figured she didn't think I looked like my id but really I've looked the same since I was 2 - just bigger- and who is going to fake an id to show they're 34? Doesn't seem logical. So I said "what?" Apparently my eyes were too red and she thought I was too drunk already... I had 3, maybe 4 beers. I'm not an alcoholic but anyone who knows me knows I'm not drunk - hell, barely buzzed. I was completely confused so I said "after 3 beers? that's fine. I'll just go to the next stand." But I didn't. I just sat in line for 15 minutes. I didn't want to wait again for a crappy Miller Lite... We went to Long Wong's. Everyone I told the story was confused. My eyes weren't red. They still aren't. Absolute power...corrupts absolutely. donkeys.

This isn't funny...

I was looking around for funny stories about dumb people doing stupid things. This shit right here - is not funny. Or I need to look up the definition again.

Rest easy world...

Graceland is now welcoming the Elvis impersonators... as long as they respect the King. How do you disrespect him? Show up with a toilet stuck to your donkey? Really. He's Elvis. You have to respect the man on principle.
I know I'm going to sleep better.

Movie and a blog...

So I backpacked alone through Italy a few years back and while there I stayed in hostels. alone. and I never saw anything like I just saw on tv... Yes, people had sex. Yes, people were loaded. Yes, I shared drinks with lots of people from around the world. But never did anyone get their heels slit open. Maybe it's Mary Jane. But I don't think I can finish watching... someone will have to tell me what I missed. I was bored until this part. When the guy from Men in Trees gets caught and is getting drilled... I'm out.

11 Year Olds can kick my ass...

so tonight i was leaving my brothers house after spending the day at the fair with him, his wife, and two of the kids and then hanging out watching videos and eating and drinking when my nephew comes to give me a combo hug/take-down in the kitchen to say good-bye.... He's eleven. I ended up bleeding. I doubt he was... dang that alcohol.

Look around people...

I think Fridays are going to change. My friend spilled his bike because some dumbass couldn't be bothered to look around before turning. There are other people besides you on the street - donkey.

So now I'm going to feel weird and nervous getting on the Harley. Damn you - stupid girl! Damn you to hell!

I'm drunk....

so here is a list of things I enjoy:

1. They Might Be Giants. Really? Do I have to say more? I used to stand on the coffee table of the first apartment I shared with Alex and Dawn strumming on a paper mache guitar I stole for Taco Bell to them. All. The. Time. "I returned a bag of groceries accidentally taken off the shelf before the expiration date..." I will never forget them. And The Shins - I don't care how old school they seem, I still like them. (Especially the Chutes Too Narrow era...)
2. I thought Garden State was hilarious! Regardless of what my friends may say - I thought it was really funny. ("Do you know you have Balls written on your forehead?" - or something like that.)
3. Oprah is a bitch. A Million Little Pieces by James Frey was a great book and he doesn't need to apologize to her dumb ass... She is not god or whoever you look up to and nothing needs to be explained to her bitch-ass. Get over it - you're not the world... no matter how big you get.
4. Weeds - I'm sorry. Friends who smoke and friends who don't - this shit is funny. Mary Louise Parker rocks as the dealer and she's hot too! I'd buy from her. Well - if she weren't so well known and I knew I wouldn't get caught doing it... (for the record, I'd buy from Matthew McConaughey too... not that he smokes...wink wink)
5. Harry Potter - I don't even feel the need to justify it. If you're not on the HP bandwagon - then screw you. (Did I mention I'm drunk and can't be held responsible?...)
6. Yes I will watch LOTR over and over... well, not over and over since the extended versions last about 4 hours each and I haven't stayed up that many hours in a row in quite some time, but still..
7. Any sports event. I may not know what's going on, but I enjoy any live sports event. Even the Packers game when it was a 60 degrees below zero wind chill - I loved it. It's just something different when you're actually at the game versus watching it on the little Sony...
8. Hair on my face (not mine).
9. Touching for no reason. I completely understand this is a drunk thing of mine. I'm not a touchy-feely person unless I'm drunk, then if I'm drunk I have to touch you while I'm talking to you. Deal with it. I can't stop it and I don't really want to. I like the feeling.

Ok - too much into my little world. I'm about to head out for the night - maybe it'll be as crazy as last week. Maybe I'll fall off the bike. Who knows.

What do we do on Fridays?

Apparently we hop on a Harley and bar hop... But first, we drink some Leinie's and search the Internets for the one I'm currently crushing on (Jennifer Nettles for those of you not paying attention) ...




She sounds so much like Ani Difranco in this - another love of mine - that I had to find her too. Now this 'song' isn't for the faint of heart (and the video was made by someone on youtube so take it for what it's worth) ... or for the people who've loved what's happened since 9/11/01, but it rocks my world and is phenomenal (I don't care if that's redundant). She is more political than me but I love her style. And while this song doesn't really prove her coolness (although she is), this girl will be playing a concert - rocking her guitar - and when a string snaps and cuts her arm, she'll just keep playing while restringing the bitch. That is bad ass. I don't care what you say...

(the song is long but worth it. Go get a drink - just have it loud enough to hear.)

You read it here first...

I have $10 riding on the Brewers making the World Series... I don't think they will. The girl losing the bet disagrees. Now I just have to think of ways to spend all the loot. (perhaps a couple more bets need to be won...)

How do you survive...

If everything you earn is supposed to go to someone else? I mean I realize there's some loophole out there for this donkey but shouldn't he be having a hard go of it?

(I did link an uploaded copy of what was supposed to be his "fictional" book - If I Did It - but I was having an ethical issue doing that, so you'll have to find it yourself if you want it. I'd rather pay the Goldman's...not that I ever plan on reading it.)

What's funnier....

...than carrying a monkey under your hat from Peru to New York? Having someone ask you if you knew it was there. At least it was a well-behaved monkey... (There are so many jokes here but I can't seem to verbalize them. Sad. And lame.)

Jennifer Nettles - I love you...

I don't care what you say, I love this girl!



I would have put Living on a Prayer on but I hate when the lips are behind by a lot...

And the Russians...

Make a very tasty vodka... very tasty indeed. Even better when your works suck donkey.

Don't Get Me Wrong...

I absolutely love The Muppets. Seriously, I really enjoy them. They're funny. They have jokes for the kiddies and the adults and they are generally do lots of dumb stuff. And my issue isn't really with them...

If you're a reporter, does it make you more or less credible when you spend time interviewing Miss Piggy? I can see asking the frog how he keeps his collar so ironed or how it feels tooling around naked most of the time, but asking Piggy if she's had any work done?... come on now.

Isn't it obvious?

The State Fair...

I should have so much more to say about the fair, but all I can say is Berry Weiss, Spotted Cow, potatoes, and dueling pianos make for a pretty fun afternoon/night. I can't even make fun of anyone's tube socks. That sucks... Maybe next time. Oh - and if you come across some hot sauce called Spontaneous Combustion... it's nothing compared to Da' Bomb. That shit burned a hole in my tongue. Wicked.

Barhopping is fun.

Alright - the plan for Friday night was to just stay home, have some drinks, and let the week drip off with all the contempt I had for it. The plan changed. I got a phone call asking if I wanted to get a drink somewhere and talking about how great of a night it was for a ride. I couldn't refuse. I'm currently a sucker for a Harley ride. It turned out being the perfect night for about 5 minutes, then it turned pretty cold but the beer that was already in me was keeping me pretty toasty warm. Here's what happened:

Bar #1 - nothing too exciting. They had Berry Weiss but for some reason didn't have it cold. Really? Are we in Ireland? Did I ask for a Guiness? Corona it was... I don't recall the conversation but all I do know is that I was threatened with a "whoop-ass stick". I probably would have been worried if I had any idea what the hell a whoop-ass stick was. I'm still waiting, but I think I can take it.

Bar #2 - this was a biker bar playing some serious r&b/hip-hop music. Seemed out of place but everyone could sing to "Strokin'" so I guess it belonged. I got carded. Lame. No Berry Weiss again so I asked for a Spotted Cow which they had on tap. Apparently I looked thirsty because she asked if I wanted a pitcher... We didn't plan on hanging out - being too close to where I grew up makes me nervous - so I went with the pint. We get out to the bike and the people parked next to us stumble to their car where their dog is waiting (do dogs ever need to go to the bar?) and tried for minutes to unlock the door. And they weren't using keys; the window was open wide enough for them to put their hand in and unlock it from there. We waited for them to pull out before us. I sure hope the dog got home save.

Bar #3 - and this is the fun(ny) one. We showed up and I was the only female in the bar besides the bartender. (Come to think of it - all the bartenders tonight were women. That rocks.) I feel obligated but not hopeful when I ask for Berry Weiss (dammit- isn't Leinenkugel's made in WI?) and end up with a Spotted Cow. We're hanging out, chatting for a while when one of the customers gets up to leave and shouts to his friend not to act like one of those African Americans (and yes he uses those words.). I look at my friend a little confused and asked "what does that mean?" Two seconds later, the same guy is walking past the window and shouts yelling about "ni****". Almost simultaneously my friend and I pick up our drinks to finish them and say "ready to go". THEN, the guy next to us - upon hearing the use of this ridiculous word says 'this is my kind of bar' and moves to sit closer to us. And someone else puts some money in the juke box and plays some crazy song whose only lyrics I can remember are "Fuck Off". These two events turn the moment from "let's get out of here" to "I can't get off this barstool - these people are completely insane and I have to sit and watch to see how it all plays out". For the next hour or so this guy talks to us, buys us drinks (which we almost got ourselves since I think the bartender was 'loving' her boyfriend in the back room), shows us his Green Bay Packers tattoo on his chest (bigger fan than I'll ever be. of anything.), takes a hit of "e" at the bar with his buddy, and generally tells us his life story. (He's going to read Sunday's paper and look for anyone looking for mason help and just show up.) When he asked us to play pool the novelty of the place had worn off so we took our leave.

The night ended with one of the bumpiest two minute rides of my life. On the bike that is. And I got home just in time to finish watching Sugarland at Summerfest - which was fantastic.

Moral of the story? Not only are people dumb, they are pretty weird too. But it all makes for a pretty fun night.

How is Jabba in charge of anyone?

So, it's my first real post. No, the other one doesn't count. And I have a question. Since I already said I'm watching Return of the Jedi in the last post that didn't count, it only makes sense that I'd have an issue about that... why the hell does Jabba the Hut have followers? Isn't he just a big blob? Can't people just disagree and walk away? I don't think he can get up - can he?

And why does Princess Leia make out with every damn thing?

And honestly, the light saber? When Luke was done racing in the woods with the Storm Trooper - it went down pretty quickly... And what kind of Marquis de Sade mask was Vader wearing? holy hell, random light saber flair ups anyone...

And what the hell are Ewoks anyway? Besides little people in furry costumes...

Now I fully admit that the only thing I know about Star Wars is how tasty and chewy my brother's R2D2 "action figure" was, but I'm completely interested in any world that is as diverse as this. I mean really - if you invite me to a party where you tell me a Wookie will be - I am so there. Seriously - who wouldn't be?

how does this shit go

So I'm cranky and drinking and actually watching Return of the Jedi (lower my head in shame) and decided "what the hell". Time to see what this blogging is all about. so far - so easy. I should have more to say once I tool around this thing. later.